Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
