I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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