OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
