Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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