you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
