i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
