Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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