you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
