My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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