I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
