you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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