who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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