Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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