she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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