Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
