Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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