it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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