I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
