a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
