I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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