I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
