we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
