I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
