Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
