I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
