Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
