you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
