Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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