So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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