if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
