If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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