Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
