you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
