I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
