Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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