Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize