Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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