ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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