just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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