i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
