how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
