In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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