I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
