and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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