i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
