I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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