I am in a vortex of obligation.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
