You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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