Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
