And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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