if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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