I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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